Thank you all for your insight on my post. While I do understand he could have found someone to cheat with in a bar, work etc., to me doing it thru AA was kind of like the therapist who hits on his patients in my mind (:
I am going to alanon when I can (which is challenging with 2 kids and a job)and reading the literature online which helps. It is about me and the kids. I appreciate everyone's support.
I think what I am learning the most is being 'sober' is that you have to do a lot more than not drink. So really, my alcoholic never made it into recovery.