I am sorry you are going thru this & think i can relate to your emotions. I certainly have had my heartache in a similar situation! What I learned is my XABF has serious character flaws! He is responsible for the horrible choices! He made them Over & Over! He came back over and over! Sadly I am responsible for teaching him he could treat me this way! i hope you will be strong enough to make better decisions for yourself & children than I did!
My XABF is in no better shape today & same crappy behavior! It's pitful and the truth is he is a loser! His choice! My guess your husband hasn't changed or he wouldn't have been so selfish in his behavior/choices! In my experience if the thinking doesn't change then the actions don't change. End result is still a drunk! Gosh that sounds horrible! Sorry!
I hope I am wrong & certainly could be but be careful and think this thru carefully!