Welcome to SR Legs - you found a great place for support.
I was afraid to let go of it too. It was such a part of me. So I didn't even try to stop. As a result alcohol ran my life, especially as I got older. So much damage and misery. By the time I finally stopped I was brought to my knees - totally dependent on it and desperate to reclaim my life. That's when I found SR and no longer felt alone. I think trying AA meetings is a good idea - try anything that will help. We're glad you're here.