How is AA responsible for his irresponsible behavior? The members of AA cannot control another alcoholic any more than you can. HE is the one responsible for his behavior, which I agree is disgraceful. I don't know anyone in AA with good sobriety who would approve of what he did, but they are there to help him with his drinking. And if he isn't working a good program, the help anyone can provide to him is limited.
Are you going to Al-Anon? I would suggest you focus on your recovery and take a wait and see attitude about him. I'd personally postpone the marriage counseling until he gets his act together.