Hi Liz, this is hard to write. I know what it is like to be someplace like where you are now. I was there myself. I really wish for you to find the wisdom and strength to save yourself and your son.
I don't know what to say to give you that wisdom and strength and I feel that others here are caught in the same dilemma. There is nothing we can say, you have to find it for yourself.
You see, right there is your answer. You have to do it. None of us can do anything more that sit here on the sidelines and cheer for you. You have dig deep, look inside and do the right thing. I can't tell you what the right thing is but I can tell from your posts you are not doing it yet.
Looking back on my old posts I can tell you that I can notice when the change in me happened.
It's when I stopped posting about her and started posting about me. That was the point where I assumed responsibility for my life and my recovery.
Your friend,