I appreciate very much all of the insightful comments everyone has made.
The thought that he "isn't that much into me" has of course occurred to me, but he proves in many, many other ways that he IS very much into me, and because of this, I have no doubts about his love and commitment to me. He just doesn't understand my alcoholism, and I've encouraged him to try AlAnon to help him deal with me and my feelings about this whole situation.
I think that, to be honest, those who are questioning whether I'm really working my own program and taking full responsibility for my own sobriety, are more spot-on about what the real issue is here. Have I made the decision that I simply canNOT ever take a drink again...??? Maybe not - my fear is more about my own lack of resolve, support or working a program. To give more information about our situation - my boyfriend only drinks a few times a YEAR. In the six months I've known him this was only the second time he drank at all, and he had only 2 drinks, he doesn't drink to get drunk every time he drinks either.
Personally, I *have* felt both things- that I'm not doing all I need to, to ensure my own sobriety, and also that "he must not love me enough" to stop drinking for me. I'm feeling from all of the comments I've read that the responsibility for my sobriety is MINE, and *I* need to look at this and do something about it. My sisters drink in front of me all the time and it doesn't bother me to this extent- something in my mind is twisting this to think "if he drinks and knows how it makes me feel, what else is he doing that I wouldn't approve of, and just not telling me about it?" I have my sobriety and my own personal trust issues that I need to work through. Also to be honest, I've quit drinking and stayed sober completely on my own - I used to attend AA meetings, but it has been nearly 15 years since I've been to one. Reading what people are saying here, is showing me that there is so much I have yet to learn and to do to take responsibility for my own sobriety. I've also found it helpful to look at it as having an allergy to alcohol - I wouldn't be jealous if I was allergic to peanuts or shrimp and he was eating these things, so why am I jealous of him drinking alcohol - AWAY FROM ME at that - he has promised he will not ever drink in front of me.
To add to my own "weirdness" about this whole thing, I have told him it bothers me more knowing he is drinking away from me, and I would be more comfortable if he was WITH me present when he is drinking - THAT thinking might lead me right to taking a drink with him and I know it, so I do know that it is MY thinking that has some serious issues and needs some serious work.
I'm learning a lot here, and I appreciate every single input you have all given me- I have a lot to learn and a lot to work on for myself.