Originally Posted by
dorothyparker 
what do I want alcohol to fix? Self-hatred.
Hum. I hadn't really understood that. Better ways to deal with that. Fall in love, find a job, surround myself with people...I remember you saying you had to deal with similar issues of self-worth at the beg. of sobriety. How did you work through it?
DP, I think the only way to deal with self-hatred is by replacing it with self-love. Falling in love, and surrounding yourself with people seems kind of like looking for others to just mask those underlying feelings, but I'm not sure it will change them.
I think if you feel self-hatred for actual behaviors you do, you should think about those behaviors and change them. If it's just a general thought pattern, practice being nicer to yourself.
One thing that helps is if you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself. I know that I can be so cruel to myself sometimes and say the most ridiculously hurtful things to myself that I would never, ever say to anybody else. I don't deserve that though.
I think drinking is an excellent start at showing yourself self-love. It shows that you're taking care of yourself now and care about yourself. Keep working on healthy behaviors that support that mind set.
I do think finding a job would help you feel better about yourself. And I'm not trying to say that falling in love and surrounding yourself with people are bad things cause they're not, they're good things. I'm just wondering if they're not really the solution to your feelings toward yourself.