Pamel, God bless you, if you want it or not. I obviously don't know your situation and if AA has helped you get sober before all I can relate is my little experience. I bounced around AA for about 2 years with a head of AA and a belly full of booze which is about as bad as coming back. I'm not or ever was religious but did /do believe in a higher power, not me, so one day while sick and tired of being sick and tired I did what I heard at meetings so out of desperation got on my knees and said something like "please God help me stop drinking". BFTGOG I haven't had the desire to drink for over 30 years. I believe a positive attitude helps when we are ready. BE WELL