Tuffgirl, you are so smart and have obviously spent a lot of time and effort to learn what is harmful for you. Even this moment--you are smart enough and have enough clarity to be "afraid" of that damn voice mail!! That is huge--huge. You are able to resist that codie voice.
This is definitely the time to lead with your brain rather than your heart. Your brain will save your A**. Erase that voice mail--fast. After you erase it---your ambivalence will fade right away. I promise.
After a while---after this near-crisis is history---maybe, try to isolate and analyze those particular features this character had that leads you like a moth to the flame. There might be a bonanza of learning, there.
Good girl--for knowing enough to resist!!!!!!
dandylion