Thanks man.
Yeah I think that being back here in Chicago (just 3 weeks now) has a bit to do with it as well. Any bad thoughts in the past were easily put in the rear view mirror with a swim in the ocean or a walk into town in Guatemala or Costa Rica.
Everything here in the big city costs MONEY. Go to a cafe in Guatemala it was $1 for a huge coffee and I could spend hours there reading a book and sipping a cafe. Here...it's $5 bucks and I feel rushed. In Central America, nobody had cash and activities were based on walking, climbing, discussing travel. Here, I have already been "friended" on facebook by someone whose sister wants to set me up on a blind date with her. And I certainly don't have money for that. Hell, a date with a new girl in the city would nearly clean out my checking account in one fell swoop.
And all of a sudden, I don't feel like I'm such a success story anymore. At least, not in my own eyes. The mary jane thing probably has something to do with escaping this feeling.
And yeah, I've applied for a couple of jobs already, one of them is with good ol' Uncle Sam and the US Gov't. A bag of weed probably wouldn't go very far in helping me get that job, would it?
Thanks for the input and the kind words.