Thanks Scout. It is that simple. I have all these things going through my head that I need to do something drastic because what I am doing does not work. Too bad antibuse makes me feel like death. I am going to consider my options and talk to my doctor. If I had 50 grand for REAL rehab, I'd go in a minute. My options are very limited given no real insurance or money. I'll have to create it myself.
I know this, and this should be enough. When I drink I turn into a completely different person. A total ass%%%. The first drink causes a blackout, and a total shift in personality. I am going to end up in big trouble if I go out again.