Hi flower37,you say,i feel by keeping quiet.I have enabled him.
Step one.We admitted we were "powerless" over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.If your thinking that your actions ,makes any difference in anothers drinking or not drinking,it may be your still havent accepted step one.Our scemes and threats had succeeded only in our being phyically and emotionally exhausted.
Step2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
All recovery is for me to improve the "quality",of my own life.Whether another drinks or not.All the tough love,screamming,and my demands,all this got me was my being totally out of control.and more upset.Didnt change another though.To stay or go.I was ready to head for da hills on our marriage.But i needed recovery first.Peace,no matter what goes on.Because ,in life there will always be issues,.Whether another drinks or not....My kids,are the ones who taught me unconditional love.They love,and somehow accepted their father for who he was.,and me too.And as a family,we are learning about recovery.Today they are adults.They dont seem to judge,folks.Dont seem to put their nose up at folks.They are all doing well.Spiritually and emotionally,so far,one day at a time.So ya just never know how things will turn out.Life is not black or white.Some kids grow up in alcoholics homes,and are really doing well in life.And some dont.Some kids grow up in non-alcoholic homes,and are doing well in life.Some dont.Its a belief that if kids grow up in non-alcoholic homes,,all will be well for them.But that isnt always the case.Or the rule.The thing is no matter what,the answers to any problems ive had had,or,have a "spiritual" answer to them.
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,take care..