Really the choice is yours. I would have found it impossible to really totally detach and live well while living with a drinking alcoholic. I was about to leave when mine got sober/ My children were very young at the time. His drinking was having A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM -YOUNG AS THEY WERE. You have been in alanon for 7 years and apparently your situation is still causing your more and more grief. Frankly I think is is rationally almost impossible to live a happy life with a drunk in the house. I think living with an alcoholic that continues to drink is so damanging for the children involved. They certainly can't detach.. I think alanon kind of ignores the children too young to really cope with the situation. Not to mention that the alcoholic is often caring for and driving these children while drunk. You may be at the point where saying[and meaning it] your drinking has become unacceptable to me- get help or get out. This is just my opinion only. hugs to you dax