Shakota

Hi everyone, my name is Shakota. I am 32, a wife and mother. This site was suggested to me by another person who believed that I could find some support here for my unique situation.

I suffer from degenerative disk disease, bulging disks and arthritis that effects every disk in my neck and a couple in my lower my back. I have suffered from chronic pain for 5 years. I have gone through physical therapy, chiropractors, anything to keep from taking narcotic pain medication. 2 years ago I had to admit defeat when after taking a company trip and flying to San Antonio, the next after returning home, I woke up and my neck had locked up and I couldn't move my toes with out screaming in pain because even that little movement effected the nerves in my neck. My pain management doctor started me out on Hydrocodone 7.5 alone with Soma. At first I just enjoyed being out of pain, then I enjoyed the bonus of the euphoria that came with the effects of the medications. Eventually I started over taking my medication. I told my boyfriend who is now my husband about my worries, and he tried to help me. After about 6 months I realized I was getting into trouble with it, so I terminated my pain management. I was off of it for about a year, I lived off of ibuprofen, taking 800mg 3 to 4 times a day, but it never really helped. After a year the pain just kept getting worse, and I knew that the DDD was progressing. After I got married I changed doctors and we redid the MRIs and it was confirmed that the DDD had gotten worse and that I was not a candidate for surgery, and I was told that I was lucky that when I was going to a chiropractor that more damaged hadn't been done or that I wasn't paralyzed because if I had been popped in the wrong place it could have really done more harm. So I was sent to a new pain management doctor who put me on Oxycodone 10/325 that I am supposed to take 4 times a day.

Here is my problem, I don't take 4 a day, it is more like 10 a day. I finally told my husband of my problem, and he immediately was supportive and jumped into action to help me. He has locked my meds in the safe and he has the only key. Each day he gives me my 4 pills. Here is my problem and this is what I need help with. I am trying to regain control of the situation, of my usage. I know that it is out of control. Before, I was waiting until my husband got in the shower and I would take his keys and get more meds out of the safe and hide them around the house. I finally broke down and told him that too. I am stuck on these meds, there is no alternative for me. I have spoken to specialist and I have done physical therapy I have tried to go without the meds, it just doesn't work. If I could go without them, I would do it and go into a recovery program, but its not that simple. I really really want to regain control of the situation and I really think that I can. I am trying to learn how to take just 1 at a time, but its hard when my body is used to taking 2 at a time. I have never been so bad that I have bought off the street, or jumped from doctor to doctor or anything like that. I just know that I am losing control and I need to learn how to regain control. I am really hoping to find some help with this, I know it isn't easy since I am stuck on the medication. Anyways, that is my story, and this is who I am. So hello, and its nice to meet everyone.:c009: