It doesn't get more black and white than the fact that you have a choice. It gets confusing when you are waiting for someone else to make it for you.
You can be married one day at a time, just because you stay...today...doesn't mean you have to stay forever. Having a plan would be a good first step. You may never use it, but having it can lift that trapped feeling.
It really doesn't matter who you talk to, us, a therapist, your sponsor or God. In the end it remains yours to choose.
I am a believer in "doing" whatever there is to "do"...that way, should you decide to leave, when reality sets in, you won't be wishing you had done more.
Hugs,
JT