My dad's gay.
When I went to college I joined a fraternity and slammed beers and picked up sorority chicks because I wanted to prove I was a "real man". I'd be damned if anyone thought I was the son of a limp-wristed fag. Guess how that worked out? Sound healthy to you?
We can spend our lives trying to regain identities, or create new ones. But putting on a different mask (ie "embracing maleness") is still a disguise. Stop looking for a new mask, even if it has a big beard and motorcycle, it's still a mask.
The only reality is the present. The past and future do not exist (we'll exclude space-time physics for the purpose of this discussion), and the only true reality that we can experience is NOW. So be who you are. And don't apologize.
Dress your cat in a peapod outfit and enter her in a cat show if it makes you happy. Who cares what others think? Dance to the beat of your own drum. If you do, then you WILL be a real man, and not caring about what anyone else says makes you an even better one. And stop worrying about impressing the ghost of an ex-wife, while you're at it. Good luck, bro!