I'm not a man, so my only experience on the subject comes from being the "person" we want to be.
First of all, let go of her criticisms. They are pointless and her opinion only.
Secondly, be the man you are proud of at the end of each day, when standing in front of the bathroom mirror. If you can look yourself in the eye and think "I rocked today!" than you are doing great! Because in the end (of the day or of your life) it is just you anyway. Be the man you want to be.
Lastly, I think the concept of "real man" gets really blurry. But to me, a real man has integrity. It isn't about having a "backbone" as much as it is having values and standing up for those values, even in the face of great adversity. Doing what's right, even when you don't want to. It isn't about how you dance or if you like interior decorating. Don't buy into society's stereotypes.
Peace,
~T