I had accepted (or at least thought I had accepted) that I'd drink my whole life. After all, no one I knew personally had ever recovered from alcoholism. I don't know what changed for me, other than calling it a miracle. In a moment of clarity I saw what my drinking was, where it was headed, and what I had to do. The minute I accepted sobriety as my only option, I did everything in my power to achive it.
The addiction has it's grip on you tightly. I wish I had the answer for turning the switch on for you, jazz. But I don't. I do know that as long as you accept the status quo of drinking and all the chaos it brings, you'll drink.