it's been awhile ^_^
Hey everyone who was rooting for me...I'm feeling better...it's almost been 4 months I think. I messed up one time, and I felt so so sick from the medication, so maybe it was a good thing in a way. Now I know.
So I hope it's not a cop out to admit that I messed up once...I don't feel like it reset my recovery, only strengthened my resolve.
I'm still finding myself going through old routines (like not eating until it was time to take a pill). I keep reminding myself that I can eat whenever I want to! There's no schedule anymore. No anticipation of my next dose, no guilt about using, and I keep finding myself realizing that I feel so much better.
I have started taking care of myself. I went to the doctor and found out what the chest pain is, among other things. Honestly after I got through the first couple of months, I started feeling much more positively about things.
So thank you all for getting me through that time when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel much stronger and hopeful. <3