I have three children. I've lost three; one of them in the second trimester. Your pain is not only acceptable, it's unavoidable and raw and horrid and it's OK
I'm not saying a man can't understand the pain, but an alcoholic man can't. Mine insisted there was never a child. That it was ridiculous to grieve someone you had never met. (I'm stunned in retrospect that I didn't leave him then.)
When an old relative dies, you grieve because you miss their presence. I think when you lose a child, you grieve the future you had already imagined for them - all the firsts that they will never get to experience.
I'm sorry if this makes you more sad but I wanted to share what I felt like. Talk as much or as little as you want. Just know that anything you're feeling is OK.
And I am so sorry for your loss.