my A/H is the same way. he says the drinking is because I get on his nerves. He is 56. What got on his nerves 40+ years before me that 'made' him drink? He says if he leaves its my fault. IM the one throwing away the marriage, blah-blah-blah. ive heard this so many times it makes me sick. he NEVER once has taken responsibility for anything in his life. according to him, every single time something bad happened it was ALWAYS someone elses fault. he got stopped for DUI- wasnt drinking- just had 1 drink. DUH! thats drinking! went to jail for getting drunk outta his mind and beating up his step dad (i was there)-its step dads fault for making him mad(??!!) nothing is HIS fault.the only time he is nice is when he realizes NOBODY wants him around and nobody will let him stay and drink in their homes! id be VERY careful about his nice side. you are taking great steps to a MUCH BETTER life! hang in there!!!