Dear Sistina,
As I sit here and read you story all sounds familiar. I actually feel sorry for you because your allowing yourself to be in a relationship that's completely unhealthy. I know because I was once their and I know a lot of others on this site can relate as well.
My ex alcoholic did nothing in return for me. Our relationship was never about us as a couple but about him taking me hostage in order to use me to fulfill his needs as an alcoholic. I too wasn't hugged or kissed for days, weeks, and even months, which left me feeling like I wasn't good enough for him. He would rather watch porn than be intimate with me. He even admitted he was jealous and envious of me for having family and friends who loved and supported me. My boyfriend being jealous and envious of me? Now that's bad.
He sucked the life out of me when their was no more life to be sucked out. Not only was he a damn drunk but a liar, selfish, inconsiderate, cruel, a manipulator and most of all he could give a sh*t about me. Life with him was always cloudy, I never saw the sun and when I did it was for only a few seconds. To shorten this all up, life with my ex was miserable and I would NEVER consider going back to him. Their is NO life with an alcoholic, they have no clue on knowing how to have a healthy relationship with someone, or should I say a relationship at all.
I ran far far away from my ex and while you still can I'd advise you to do so. I'm HAPPIER without him. For me, the sun no longer comes out for a few seconds, it's out permanently and life is good! Good luck to you and keep strong!