I thought I would respond to some of Dreams' post, as it may mirror many of the others' thoughts here. I do know it comes from a place of caring, and I am not upset.
Perhaps some assumptions are being made here about my intent and actions, and also about EXAGs recovery. That being said, there is more to the story that I did not say- during our visit, we had a discussion about church and spirituality. She has been going to church weekly, and said she has been getting a lot out of it (she has always been spiritual, and seems to be much more now). She mentioned a touching video she saw a few weeks ago that brought tears to her eyes. We have always shared things like this during the good times of relationship (gifts for the day- Hazeldon, sappy internet emails, etc.) Part of the breaking of no contact was because she needed some legal and tax docs for her rental property which she thought were on her computer, but were actually on mine. I forwarded her the docs, and she responded back with a thank you, and also a link with the "This is the video I mentioned." Seriously, no malicious intent, no hidden meaning, no manipulation, etc. There are no brakes to be applied, as nothing is moving in that direction.
Another thing I didn't mention, which seems to be a huge red flag for some here (a lot more than to me), is additional information surrounding the tattoo. The tattoo it is not as unexpected as one would think.
The serenity prayer has been in our house for the past 13 years. The kids know it- they used to say it as part of their prayers before bed from a very early age. It was on a plaque in one room in our house. I used to think it was BS, and wasn't really comfortable with it (I viewed it as her recovery/her crap). Once I got into recovery, I saw its value, and understand its words. During some of my most difficult times earlier in the year, I would often recite it in my head as a mantra to help ground me during "crazy thinking."
Its not like she learned it last week. She has been *trying* to recover for over a decade. But she has not been able to. So for me, the content of the tattoo is not that much of a surprise. The big surprise is the location- she now has a very visible tattoo (back of right shoulder) which will, lets face it, lead to all sorts of societal judgment- sober or not.
Sorry if I sound defensive. Am not! (joking
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