I understand. I am on a journey of drastic change from within that started 6 months ago. I quit both my job and alcohol during that time. Luckily, my marriage is stable and my husband is supportive. But I still worry about our financial future. I am trying to figure out how to make money through my own efforts, whether writing or starting a new business. I absolutely do not ever want to have a job again. I only ever get **** on for doing my best.