I'm so sorry to hear about this sadness, but it sounds like you are on the right track going out with your cousin, and enjoying a laugh when you can. When my ex broke up with me (on my birthday!) I cried for a really long time. I felt like someone was punching me in the heart, literally. I also felt like I was thinking about it and dwelling on it because that's what I was supposed to feel. Like if I wasn't thinking about it, I wasn't doing something right or I wasn't feeling what I was supposed to feel. This is wrong! Enjoy the laughs when you can get them, meet new people, learn who you are as a person and what makes you happy. My dad always reminds me that this too shall change, and he is the wisest person I know.