I'm sorry you're struggling Bunny.
Remember that you've gotten sober once - you can do it again..there's so much support here
If you think you need outside help I know Auckland has a pretty vibrant AA network...they also have something called CADS..you may or may not be eligible depending on what your resident status is, but why not check it out?
Community Alcohol and Drug Services (CADS) : Healthpoint
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