Welcome,
I understand your pain... I am an adult child of an alcoholic and extreme codie mom. The hardwiring of dysfunctional families of origin is hard to untangle but IT CAN BE DONE! You can find peace, joy, serenity and happiness but it is a journey and this is a great place to start...
I was a hot mess and also got entangled (more than once) with addictive men in my life but through this website, lots of reading, counseling and alanon I am pretty darn healthy and happy these days.
Again, welcome. Take your shoes off and get comfortable. Post as much you like... venting is good for the soul.