Thank you everyone for helping me stay strong. I wasn't able to get to a meeting last night, but I was able to read some Al Anon literature and between that and everyone's support I got thru.
I laid out my boundaries to him - told him if he was actively drinking I could not be around him and would not have a conversation with him, and that if he had our children in a vehicle with him I would call the police without hesitation. I think he was truly shocked at how calmly I said those things and he knew I meant business. I have never been so calm and detached with him and his drinking before, and that made a real difference.
This morning was not the usual after-drinking morning, he simply said to me, "I slipped, I relapsed, and I'm sorry." Usually it's over-the-top apologies, embarrassment and shame, this time was matter of fact and to the point. He says it only causes heartache.
He has some fences to mend also with our daughter. I told him that she was confused and disappointed and left it at that. He can take it from there, and I'm sure she will fill in the blanks.
This time *I* felt different. I didn't buy into the arguing like before, I didn't play his game. I felt mature, grown-up almost in a way. Also sad and just done-for. I haven't made any decisions yet, but I have prayed a lot to my Higher Power for guidance and strength. I will trust whatever direction I am taken, but at the moment my HP is telling me I need to be here. Who knows about tomorrow, right? So I will trust the feelings from my HP and go from there.
Thank you so much, everyone. I so greatly appreciate the support without judgement. I was texting a friend last night who quickly judged both me and DH and it hurt. I needed to have somewhere soft to land, and this was it. THank you.