Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Welllll......many times, in the beginning, the behavior and history is screaming ADDICTION!!
The newly "in love" tends to rationalize away any negative features--if they even see them at all. The love hormones definitely mask reality to a certain extent. I think it is a real problem with relationships (not just alcoholic) that we do not get to know the person well enough or long enough before making a committment. Also, we don't look close enough.
dandylion
Yes. If I'm honest with myself, there were warning signs. Not easy to admit, especially depending on who I am admitting it to. Here, not so hard to admit. For me, anyway. ETA: To clarify, because I think it is possible to misunderstand my last sentence as arrogant, I just mean that different people feel defensive over different things and to different degrees. For me it's not hard to admit the above here because I feel in good company. But for me to admit that to certain others may be harder, depending on my relationship and history with the given other people.