My therapist said I seek out abusive relationships because I am numb and it takes that kind of intensity for me to feel anything.
I have no idea if that is true or not. At this point, I can't even pretend anymore to understand myself. I do know for certain though that I have been instantly attracted to, and passionately involved with three men and they have all been mentally ill/substance abusers. I also know that I have been with two very decent guys in passionless relationships that didn't last because I screwed them up.
I think those stats are more of a reflection on me and my issues than on the nature of passion and love at first sight.