It was hard. Much harder than it probably comes across here. I completely understand the cheating side, too. AXH was still AH and supposed to be working on his issues when he moved in his GF. He told me he was just renting a room from her and told her he was divorced. When I finally filed, she found out the truth, told me she was sorry, she'd never have hurt me or DS that way, but still took him back and still said he was an honest. *shrug* That says way more about her than about me or the relationship I had with AXH.... Or at least just as much...