Wow, theuncertainty, thank you for sharing. Your post was really helpful. Especially the last sentence: "I did try to trust that she'd watch over DS, because she saw herself that way."
It's so difficult to think along these lines in my situation with my ex's wife. She seems SO deeply in denial. Really...an abusive, alcoholic, cheating, lying husband "makes me a better person"? She knowingly cheated with my ex when she knew we were together and when I was pregnant, and continued even after our son was born, and then my ex introduced our son to her behind my back and my son even attended their wedding without my knowledge...while I would like to think she would protect my son, her actions have shown me that she probably doesn't have my son's best interests in mind.
Yesterday, her refrain was "You have to have hope." Maybe that is what she tells herself to keep herself in denial? My ex is very emotionally abusive, controlling, has a short temper, refer to himself as a "sh*tty person and a sh*tty husband." Thanks again, the uncertainty, because I'm pretty sure their visitation time isn't peaches and sunshine...
Sigh. Why is this all so hard?