Welcome to the double winner thread Jeff.
If you guys had in intervention, I guess that you set some boundaries and the consequences for her not getting into recovery. It is really important that you stick to your boundaries right now. For example if what you said was we will not live together unless you go to treatment, then even though it will be heartbreaking for you, refuse to let her back in if she leaves treatment early. Being wishy washy would not be doing her a favor in the long run and she would know she can manipulate you and pull on on you and that your bark is louder than your bite.
I completely hear you about the "what ifs", I used to suffer from them all the time and have become much better over the years at not projecting.
The key for me is when the what ifs start popping up and cluttering my brain, the next thing on the menu is for that horrible gut wrenching fear and then the anxiety to settle in.
What has really helped me a lot is to stay in the moment and every time I would start on a possible scenario, address myself and say that nothing has happened yet and nothing might happen and I am getting myself all worked up on a future I know nothing about.
Then breathing deeply in an out and become very aware of where I am NOW. What is the present? I am at home, I am sitting in my chair, I am at my computer. All is good right now and this is all what I need to worry about.
It takes a little practice to do that but it does work and soon enough it will become a second nature.
If you got sober using AA, I would also suggest going to Al Anon. As a double winner, you are now on the other side of the coin but for us double winners, codependency can trigger our own addictions or to quote an AA friend of mine:"
Carlotta, your codependency will kill you".
If you are following a secular method, I heard SMART recovery has family groups too.
Anyway welcome. You are NOT alone
