Dees right. If I acted on every thought that popped in my head...well, I'd be in jail, mental hospital, or a reality tv show. None of which sound very appealing.
I have to watch out for the I don't give a sh*t feeling more than I deserve to have a drink. Probably just a remnant of feeling I'm not worth anything good in my life. It comes to me more in a feeling of wanting to just shut down more than anything. Doesn't happen often but enough to keep me on my toes. I just try to keep it simple and tell myself there are one of two roads I can go down and I know darn well where one of them will take me. So I just give it a minute and ask myself which life do I want. Because tomorrow will come regardless and I get one of the only 2 choices. A really bad one or a really good one. There are no other alternatives no matter how much I wish there were.
There are a lot of things I wish were different if I think about it too much and not a one of them are things I can really change. So what if I'm one of those people who can't drink. I'll live. I don't know if I'm one of those who thinks its a disease or not and it doesn't matter to me anyway since if it is at least it's one that all I got to do is just not drink to not have it.
So a little wire in your head sparked Marcher. Just a little circuit bleep. Right up there with when you want to slap someone as they are talking to you but you don't do that either because you know where that will lead...probably would get my a** kicked along with me looking like a mean person. I don't want that either.
Good job seeing it for what it really is. Just a dumb thought. File it away with all of our other dumb thoughts. I have a whole file cabinet for those. I marked it the WTF cabinet and just like my computer trash bin, I hit the empty trash button when it gets more than 2 in it. I like a clean trash can. They start stinking and attracting flies if they get too full.