I understand about not wanting to share the whole mess. It's long, it's a waste of energy, it gets you all worked up for no good reason.....
And I know what you mean about them looking good---- IF you refuse to think about the fact that you're seeing lots of contradictions. Words not matching actions. Endless demands, you jumping through hoops, and then that not being good enough and more demands ensue; forcing you to jump through more hoops.
I don't blame you for feeling freaked out!!
Try having a talk with your lawyer. Arm yourself with info on NPD/Psychopathology---like, some good bullet points from a website geared to help the layperson understand a very serious aberration. Use evidence to demonstrate your point, and try to keep yourself calm and informational. (That part's not so easy, for me anyway....but if you have lists and evidence in your "little speech" for him, you may feel less freaked out. More confident.)
In fact, be confident that you DO know what is going on here. Everyone has such a drive to assume the best....and normally that works. My situation, the lawyer, Real Estate guy and I all assumed we were working with people acting in good faith. That's just how it goes, at first. And I can think of a ti me when I was getting ripped off BIG TIME by a mechanic who I thought was a good guy. Friendly, all that. Because I was so convinced he was a good guy, I refused to admit to myself that he was ripping me off!!! I let it go on and on, because of denial!!! "Oh!!! But he's a good guy!!!! That latest rip off that made me really really uncomfortable? Oh, no, couldn't be. He's nice! I'll stick it in the denial bin, because I TRUST MY GUT which tells me he's nice!" JEEEEZ!!!!!
But now I know, when things seem hinky, you have to examine why, and not just shut yourself up because "it's
mean to think that way and I'm too nice to do that"
!!!
yecch!
Thank goodness you didn't get conned into falling in love with this guy!!!
And, try googling..... "psychopath how to protect yourself" for example. You'll find info from experts that will be much more helpful than what I can tell you.