I have a related question, actually!
I read over there too... I've dated a whole bunch of addicts etc, and hope never to ever again, so as reading here reminds me not to drink, reading there reminds me why being selective is the name of the (dating) game.
One thing I keep seeing though is atrocious... like Grade A abusive behavior... being attributed to alcoholism (prob. addiction too but being an alcoholic, those are the ones I read more). And the partner then focusing on the substance as if quitting is going to cure this person from being a terrible jerk. When really, I mean, alcohol can do many things to us that cause us to be bad partners, but there are limits. Some people are drunks, and some people are drunk assholes. Get them sober, they're still assholes.
I am never sure if it would be helpful for me to share when I think I see that? It's been a while since I've been in one of these situations myself so I feel like something of an outsider.
I guess I just hear some of these stories and sometimes I feel like these really awful people are treating their partners like crap and going way too far in terms of blaming it on their alcoholism and/or struggle with sobriety. It reminds me of being a kid and everyone knows who the bully is except the teacher, you know?