Yes, Jen, I'd read your posts about your Mum. It's very hard - extremely hard, in fact - when your alcoholic parent is dead. Give yourself some time, if you can, luv.
I probably didn't make it clear enough in that last post that my father was the severely alcoholic - and violent - parent; Mum, well, she liked her nightly scotch or two, but was in effect the Wife of the Drunken Husband. Both are long dead - Dad in 1981 at age 62; Mum in 1989 at age 70.
It took me quite some years after both their deaths to apply some of the reflective wisdom we acquire as we get into our own 50s or so. That, combined with some heavy duty journal writing, and reading a lot about the ACOA dynamic. Both online and off.
Try to go easy on yourself about all this. It can take a lot of time, and lots of silence with oneself.....It just sort of evolves, as we age (as long as we stay conscious of it but also keep on living our own lives - I'm thinking of that ever elusive balance thing you were talking about earlier).
You're doing pretty damn well, Jen, from what I can see. All power to you, and just gently keep on truckin'.....Gently.
xx
Vic