Welcome to SR?....unfortunately your story is a common one here. The good news? You are not alone.
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are both fellowships that are for the friends and family of alcoholics and addicts. They are meetings of support for those who wish to heal from the fallout of caring deeply for someone who is affected by the disease. You have very much been affected......you would be welcomed in those rooms.
Is this the behavior of addicts?
Yes. It is very common behavior for addicts. The disease of addiction is baffling and cunning. People affected by the disease are often (not always but often) charming, funny, intelligent, attractive, and charismatic. All of those characteristics describe my son. When he was active in his disease, he was dark, deceptive, angry, and I suspect, filled with shame. When in recovery (currently) all of those beautiful traits mentioned earlier surface and he is a delight to be around.
Being left alone in a foreign country must be terrifying. But I'm so glad that you now know the full picture and can proceed toward the future with eyes wide open. You've been hurt deeply but there is healing. We live. We learn. We survive.
Glad you found us. There is a lot of collective wisdom here on SR.
gentle hugs
ke