Going into a 5th day sober and praying to heal the hurts I have inflicted upon my family with my actions of self gratification. Have been feeling all turned around and sleep is impossible accept for collapsing after 20 hours of insomnia, this certainly is not an instant solution.
Funny though, having gone to some music events at jazz clubs for the past few days for professional reasons, I was amazed to watch the process of people starting out straight and then getting inebriated after 2 or more drinks, and then was thinking how stupid I had looked to the straight people when I was doing gigs and getting tipsy over the course of the evening. When everyone drinks together and acts more stupid with more drinks, it isn't noticeable, but I am ashamed to think how my twisted reasoning expected people to not see my sloppy progress several drinks can have. Oh well, that is the past, and it could have been worse. Now to get on a good sleep schedule, any suggestions? Cannot tolerate sleeping pills of any kind.