Huxley

Haha! I was just saying to LDT that even though I feel like hell, there are moments when I still laugh my ass off. This was definitely one of them

Hey guys, thanks for the love and support, I didn't mean to post and run like that, and massive thanks to Jen for passing on my message xx

Still sober. I spent the night with an old friend who is a mental health nurse. She pointed out that, yes, my life is generally really good and yes, I don't have nearly as much to worry about as those poor teenagers growing up in the favelas in Rio (still not sure how we got onto that). However, there's a lot of **** going on that is giving me grief, and to goddamn give myself a break.

She also pointed out that me thinking I'd worked so hard meant that I should "just be fine now" made me sound like a bit of an entitled dick. Haha! Old friends She pointed out that I'm an addict, that I'm never going to be "just fine" and that sulking about it wasn't going to help.

She also very sweetly said that it's okay to feel sorry for myself, and that if my brain needs to be grumpy and depressed for a few weeks then I should let it.

I pointed out that I don't WANT to feel depressed for a few weeks, I want to be happy all the time. Which nicely circled back around to the bit about me being an entitled dick. Which made me laugh.

So in summary, I'm still angry, I'm still white knuckling and I'm still bleh. But I seem to be getting a sense of humour about it.

Love you guys xxx