Life has been very hard lately; I really don"t "love" anything or anyone, and yet I live in a good situation that I would hate to lose, and I WILL if I continue to drink.
My bf is very supportive, but at the end of his rope. Right now I have a breathalyzer in the car (thank goodness), and he has one at home (for random testing). Very demeaning, but if it helps me stay sober then so be it, one day at a time. I DO love AA and go every day...part of the reason, I think, that I have been unable to stay sober is that I do not in any way look like an alcoholic.
Sometimes I think I am just so bored. All it took today was for the bf to leave, come running back in because he left the key to the safe (where he keeps his scotch). Now there is a second key but it has been hidden too. That was all it took for me to run to the store and buy some Vodka, knowing full well that if he decided to "test" me it wouldn't read 0. It takes some 6+ hours to metabolize 1 drink....