Heartsmiles

Beth,
My brother started drinking in his early teens. Watching him made me so very sad. There were always police coming to our house looking for him...it was just a nightmare for a young person. Because of watching that, I have never had so much as a sip of any type of alcohol. My addiction is pills which I feel is ironic.
I would love to have a relationship with my brother. He is very sad and out of touch with everything. It is very hard to have a meaningful conversation.
He does this thing I call " drunk dialing " when he only calls me really late ( 2-4 am ) when he's so drunk he doesn't make any sense, and wants to argue or debate. When I call him during hours I think he is less likely to be drunk, he doesn't want anything to do with me.
I recall the intervention like it was yesterday. I can still see the pain on everybody's face and shock at what was being said from each family members experiences with him while he was drunk.
You are correct, The point is to make them hit a bottom, cut them off, stop enabling and cut ties so they have no one or nothing. My brothers wife did not stick to the consequences and Im not blaming her.. love is funny that way. Sometimes love is blind and hope for them reaches beyond "tough love" even for a wife.
During the intervention was the only time I had EVER seen my fathers eyes swell with tears. My brother dismissed us and our pain. The addiction was and still is far greater then anyone or anything in his life. He will die soon, this I know.
He has drank whiskey for all these years as it is his confidant, his courage, his friend, his love, his life and soon to be his death.
I think how deep his pain runs. The extent he goes to, to avoid it.
I love him but as many of us know and have found out the hard way, we/they can only help themselves/ourselves.
I ended up being in a relationship for 15 years with an alcoholic. Abusive as they come..I am surprised I made it out alive. I tried to "fix" him too.... It just can not be done.
They have to want it.