It took me a long time to believe that my Exah was using, even after going to rehab, coming home and NOT working a program of any kind, no money, his bedroom looked like a crack house and he was up and down all night long... I think deep down inside I knew but I also knew that If I saw the truth that it meant that I would have to take action... Turns out he took that action for me by shoving me violently from his bedroom while he was high as a kite... Please don't wait for your situation to come to this and don't believe that it won't because up until that day I would have never believed that my ex would lay a hand on me...
If you are having to play sleep and by the way I did that many times then you don't trust him and you know deep down that things are not right... If its looks like a duck, talks like a duck and walks like a duck then it's a duck... The truth is a scary scary thing to face but once you face it... YOU begin to recover...