Welcome Summer. It must be truly hard and exhausting going through all the routine of hiding and lying to feed the addiction. You have brought up some issues from your past that have led to, and continue to feed your addiction.
Now that school is out, I can't think of a better time to hit therapy seriously. Rehab would be better, but I understand you are worried about your husband knowing the extent of your drinking.
By the way mixing Clonazepam and alcohol can lead to accidental overdose. That's what my medical professional told me