I think the difference is Sass whether the parent inadvertently hurts the child, or deliberately and calculatingly hurts them. Hurting our kids by the mistakes we make as parents is something a child can an ought to forgive, and as parents we are never beyond being able to apologise to our children for those mistakes. As a step mom to be to my grown up girl, I made several mistakes in our fledgling relationship, which I have since apologised for. As I have been a steadfast in my love and support for her ever since she now knows that she can trust me with her emotions, but it took a long time to win that trust. No one tells us how to be good parents so we do get things wrong, but those parents who psychologically or physically abuse their children because of something lacking in their own make up are unforgivable.
I remind myself that my father has no further power over me, he is a weak old man who cannot hurt me any more. And the person I am is the person I chose to be.