Hi, shari,
Yeah, you ARE making yourself crazy. Living with an alcoholic (even if you technically don't live together) does that to a person.
Alcoholism causes brain damage. Your b/f may be jealous and insecure by nature, but it is exacerbated by the drinking and his thinking is way out of whack.
Yes, I am going to recommend Al-Anon. It isn't the big to-do that you think it is. The meetings are small to medium in size (usually five to 25 people, typically), and everyone is there for the same reason. Nobody will expect you to say anything unless you want to. Everyone there knows how it feels to come in for the first time, so it is very low-stress. I have a feeling once you go, it will be such a relief to be with people who really GET what you are dealing with, it will be something you will come to love.