wicked

This is true, and for real and honest.
wow, it is scary isn't it?
But you can learn, and if I can do it,
anyone can.

Now, you know, and since you are ready (as a student)
the teacher will appear.
(or already has in the way of SR, books, meetings).
Now, you will HEAR what is needed exactly for you and your girls.
Not to feed your addiction.
I know, I have been addicted to a relationship too.
It is like heaven to hear from them again, and that rush of adrenaline,
hope and "love" clouds all reason.
there is room for reason in relationships.
There has to be for me.
Or else, I will go off the deep end again.
Accepting unacceptable behavior.

You are truly getting it now, this is an exciting time for new beginnings.
For you and your girls.

Beth



PS
I put the word "love" in quotes, because I think I have used that word,
and I had no idea what it meant.

It means, being the closest of close friends.
Trusting them with a secret that they will not hurt you with.

Being there when you are truly sick and look gross (actually rushing out for soup or making it for you, bringing the bucket in case you are sick.)

Being there for the bad stuff. Knowing the death of your pet is devastating and not time to joke about dumpsters. (ICKY)

(No, that does not include staying for a self-inflicted disease that is
completely selfish and self-deluded like alcoholism, I mean the flu)

Seeing beyond all your "dressings" and into your heart, and
knowing they belong there, as you belong in their heart.

Also knowing that your children are a part of the deal, and actually
understanding what a great HONOR it is if they get to meet them.
They are not brats who get in the way of their good time with mommy.

Okay, this is getting to be a long PS and I hope I have not gone too far afield of the point.

You are not a fool, you could have an problem, awareness is the first step.
A fool would not recognize the problem.



Keep on learning and growing.
You are getting it more and more each day.

Beth