Hello wylderose,
I am also in an addiction recovery book circle through my Buddhist sangha. Extremely helpful for me to look at my OWN addiction/compulsion around the relationship.
This sounds fascinating to me!
Welcome to the forum and yes, it is about you.
I have just recently found how just letting the tears out is so helpful (I am 54).
I feel relaxed and a little sleepy after a big cry, but kind of clear too.
anyway, hello!
Beth