Originally Posted by
fourmaggie 
I have never ever told her how to work HER PROGRAM and now she dictates how i should run mine--to suit her needs...
She only has the power to dictate your program if you give it to her! Let go or be dragged!
I might examine your expectation that she would respond favorably to your letter. Boundaries are for US. We can't make others respect them, like them, follow them, or even give two hoots about them! If she steps over yours, best to simply not have her in your home any more. You don't owe anyone an explanation!!!
I am so frustrated on your behalf! But you are strong and can move past this!!!