Brilliant!
I'm glad you didn't delete. Every bit of the bold is IT.
How is it that you think you "still have a ways to go with this"? You nailed it all on your own.
I've written about this before in old threads and I don't know if it will make sense to anyone, but in working with my son who has autism and with other DD children, when modifying a behavior there is often a "response burst" at first when the behavior greatly intensifies before it extinguishes. During that time, it appears that the plan is not working, it appears that there is a regression or worsening of the behavior, so that's when people generally give in to the behavior, which of course reinforces it.
When I would tell my son"no" to something at the store, his reaction was often loud and violent, throwing himself to the ground, hitting or biting himself, screaming. Of course it's extremely uncomfortable for me so initially I was like "okay, okay calm down, you can have the gum"...and in doing so I began to create patterns of behavior that were extremely hard/seemingly impossible to modify over time. When I understood the dynamic, and the long term result, it was much easier to stick through the hard part. Remembering that it does not stay at that level of intensity as long as I am consistent was critical.
People often say, "never just stresses me out too much....so I'm not going to think in terms of never"...this is an example of the Beasts "response burst" at work. And nothing puts a bigger smirk on the beasts face than this mindset.
Originally Posted by jkb
The idea of turning into a "walking dead jess" that eats my friends and family.... not appealing.
uh...yeah...gives a whole new meaning to the "family BBQ" you mentioned.